About

So this is my blog….

Thanks for stopping by and welcome to my new blog! This is just an introductory post so I’ll keep it short and sweet.

I’m starting this blog because my therapist suggested I keep a journal to record my thoughts and feelings. Unfortunately, my handwriting is terrible and I can’t keep track of a notebook to save my life. So I thought that a blog might be a good way to overcome those obstacles. I can’t promise that this space will be witty, or informative, or even thought-provoking. This is primarily for my own benefit. Should you care to and dare to read any of this stuff, you might get a glimpse into my mind and an insight into my life. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

The last five years of my life have been both devastating and exhilarating, often at the same time. I’ve been through the terrible break-up of a long and miserable relationship that I could write a book about. I’ve also entered into another wonderful relationship that I could write a completely different book about. I have two children that I haven’t seen or spoken to in almost five years, Aiden and Seth.  I’ve been kept from seeing or speaking to them all this time, and I miss them very much.  I’ve been reunited with my daughter Haley whom I hadn’t seen in almost four years.  I’ve been broken, and I’m still healing.

If you’d like to be kept updated with my posts “Like” this post or subscribe to my blog.  Thanks, and keep on keeping on.

Walter Singleton

I, Walter Singleton, release to the Public Domain all writings and images related to this blog.

Fort Oglethorpe, Chattanooga, Georgia, Aiden Singleton, Seth Singleton, Haley Singleton, LDS, Mormon

More information on Parental Alienation can be found here:

https://parentalalienation-pas.com/

15 thoughts on “About

  1. Pingback: About | Walter Singleton

  2. thatnazi

    Geez man, I can somewhat relate to your plight. The details are a little different, but I also had not seen my kids for years and have only recently been reunited with one of them, my now 18 year-old daughter. I blame the system and the individual. So many people have told me I should hate women for what I’ve been through, but that’s just baloney. My ex-wife is on husband #3 with 4 kids, 3 different dads. She doesn’t represent all women though. But aside from her nature, she’s been programmed to be this way.

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  3. braddahr

    Hi, I’m a new follower of your blog but really appreciating your posts. Not sure if this is your thing but my blog was nominated for a “quote challenge” – 3 quotes for 3 days while nominating others. It seems like a nice way to share some inspiration and some of your favourite blogs. Do you mind if I nominate your blog?

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    1. Walter Singleton Post author

      Another one I like is “You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm” — Unknown

      While it seems to contradict the first quote I liked, in reality, it doesn’t. The difference is compulsion versus voluntary altruism. Self-sacrifice can be a noble thing – perhaps the noblest of things. But when self-sacrifice is committed under a sense of obligation or compulsion, it cheapens it, robs it of it’s beauty – perhaps even turns into something ugly. Remembering the contrast between these things is helpful both for those who don’t care enough, and those who care too much.

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  4. Karon

    Hi Walter, just to let you know I have been so touched by your story and my heart goes out to you. I am curious as to why your ex wife found it necessary to remove you from her and the children’s lives. Do you know why? Did she have some sort of personal ghost hidden away?

    Part of my work is with families, all of whose stories are different but I must admit, I sometimes wonder at the way that women are still unfairly favoured by the law…. and that’s coming from my perspective as a woman.

    I sometimes feel that men’s roles have become confused at times – it’s almost as if the economic rise of the woman (although not a moment too soon) has had the result of disempowering not only the man’s economic status but also his identity. What do you think?

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    1. Walter Singleton Post author

      Hi Karon, thanks for reading and thanks for commenting! After going back and analyzing Jennifer’s actions, both throughout our 20 year marriage and during the divorce process, I believe Jennifer has a personality disorder. In hindsight Jennifer displayed many of the classic symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, including lack of empathy, projection, black and white thinking, and an inability to accept fault or shortcomings. Every time we had a disagreement, Jennifer seemed more focused on who should accept the blame for the issue, instead of how to solve the issue itself (surprise, it was always me who was at fault). I’m not saying I was blameless in our marital problems, because I certainly have my own faults, and should share in some of the blame. But Jennifer always seemed intent on pinning blame on someone for any problem, rather than working together to find a solution, and the blame was never on her.

      We were also involved in a very fundamentalist-type church at the time, so when I decided to end the marriage, Jennifer not only needed to make it my fault, but also needed to make it so that there was nothing she could do to stop it. She needed this view to be held by her parents, all of our friends, all our children, and most importantly, by Jennifer herself. She needed to believe as much as anyone that she was a morally upright, blameless victim of circumstance when the marriage failed. And the easiest, most surefire path to do that was to make me out to be a horribly abusive and violent person who had victimized her for years, and that she had finally found the courage to break free of me. And that was how she played it right after I told her I wanted a divorce, in the apartment that I rented after I chose to move out and begin a separation.

      Unfortunately this method of winning everything in a divorce situation is so common that it even has a name in family law circle – The Silver Bullet. It’s not exclusive to women using it against men, but it is much more common. I don’t think this is because men are any less devious or malicious as a whole, but rather because society has created conditions where it can be a much more successful strategy. If a man claims he was abused by a woman (whether he was or not) he’s much less likely to receive the same sympathy, support, and resources as a woman who claims she was abused (whether she was or not).

      As far as dis-empowering men’s economic status and identity, I think there are many factors that have contributed to that. In a family unit, men have always been seen as the provider and protector, and women have been seen as the caretaker and nurturer. The industrial revolution took men out of the home and put them in factories and offices. WWII took women out of the home and made it acceptable for them to be providers. Technology has made both jobs less demanding, less time consuming, and more acceptable to be done by either gender. Women have both the time and ability to bring home the food and protect the home. Men have both the time and ability to take care of domestic tasks and child rearing. Both have lost some of their identity, and their specially defined roles and responsibilities in the family unit, and in society. And I think there are both positive and negative results of that.

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  5. Ocanada

    Walter, I am wondering how you have your daughter with you and not your sons? Given the public account of your wife’s arson, and the fact that she actually put all of her children in danger, it is disturbing that you cannot also get custody of the boys. I’m also wondering, given your own grief as a parent with rights, how you would cope with encouraging your ex’s right to see her children if you do succeed one day with getting custody with of all your children? It is the children’s right to both parents that is paramount, regardless of the breakdown between parents. In reasonable situations this is often difficult for parents; in exceptional cases such as yours, I expect a mediator would be vital although it would still be very difficult.

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    1. Walter Singleton Post author

      Hi Ocanada, thank you for commenting. It’s good to know that there are people that care. I will try to answer your questions as best as I can.

      The reason I don’t have my sons is as much a mystery to me as it is to you. After the arson, my wife moved to north Georgia. She had all three children with her at the time, and she used my daughter’s mental health as a pretext for moving. The judge gave her temporary permission to relocate, and she immediately bought a home there. Florida chose not to pursue arson charges, so the case was never prosecuted.

      While in Georgia, the turmoil between my daughter and Jennifer increased, with Jennifer increasing her abuse and Haley increasingly fighting back. Finally Jennifer decided to send Haley to public school. That was where the abuse was discovered. Georgia DFCS removed Haley from Jennifer’s home, but did not remove the two boys. Once in DFCS custody, Haley requested contact with me. Since I had been awarded visitation in Florida, I was granted visitation to see Haley in Georgia. At first, Jennifer began working with DFCS to get Haley back, but when she found out that Haley was to have contact with me, she stopped all contact with Haley, and stopped cooperating with DFCS in any way. I continued to work with DFCS and eventually was awarded custody.

      Unfortunately Jennifer was never prosecuted for abusing Haley (I have an entire blog entry detailing that here: https://walter-singleton.com/2016/10/26/naming-the-failures-lt-steve-blevins/), and DFCS did not want to follow up with my sons, because in their words, “they had no jurisdiction over the boys”. After much hassling they did agree to continue to provide services, but would not give me any information about it. And that’s where the situation dead-ends.

      As far as encouraging my children to see their mother if I should get custody of them, I would do whatever the court recommends. At the beginning of our separation, I would have been strongly encouraging their relationship, and more than happy to co-parent with Jennifer. I cannot be enthusiastic about it anymore, but I understand the harm it would do to destroy ANY familial relationship my children had. Of course, I would insist on extensive counseling for the children, and I would hope Jennifer would do the same.

      Unfortunately, given the distance between us now (Chattanooga is an 8 hour drive away), I don’t see 50/50 custody as an option anymore. Any custody arrangement would probably be the non-custodial parent getting one weekend a month visitation. But given Jenifer’s refusal to cooperate with visitation before, if I end up as the non-custodial, she likely won’t comply. And since the boys are nearly 15, she would probably succeed in interfering with my visitation until the boys reached 18. So my outlook is pretty dismal.

      Regarding a mediator, I would LOVE to have an independent third party involved. When Jennifer first began her false accusations I fought to get a GAL assigned to the children. Despite her objections, a GAL was assigned, at my expense. I cooperated with the GAL, who eventually recommended visitation. At that point Jennifer’s lawyers succeeded in getting the GAL dismissed.

      Basically Jennifer’s lawyers have been playing games with the court in an effort to drain me of finances and to run out the clock. The last hearing took seven months to have scheduled, and then Jennifer claimed her father had surgery that day, and the judge ordered a continuance for an undetermined day. And that’s how it goes.

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